Thursday, October 22, 2009

How to Get a Crappy Song Out of Your Head

Allow me to use this free and unedited Internet space to rant a bit about an extremely crappy yet catchy song that bugs me on a near-daily basis. There’s always at least one song like this out there plaguing the airwaves, isn’t there? The current version goes by the name of “I Gotta Feeling” and is the creation of that not-so-fab four, The Black Eyed Peas. One thing is definitely true: Those jokers can write a catchy song! They have churned out an extraordinary number of “can’t get it out of my head” tunes in the past several years – and this is the problem. I don’t want their crappy songs in my head. I can’t tell you how many times lately I have found myself humming the tune to “I Gotta Feeling”, caught myself, and just been annoyed.

This song is so annoying to me that I have even debated the scenario in which Almighty God speaks to me and says “Nathan, if you so desire, The Black Eyed Peas will never make another song. I will send them to that island from LOST, never to be seen nor heard from again. … But, in exchange, black-eyed peas – the food – the delicious, Southern staple of so many home-cooked meals at your mom’s and grandparents’ houses – will also disappear forever from the face of the Earth. The choice is yours; choose wisely.” What would I do? I honestly don’t know. But if you know me, and how much I love to eat, and how busy I am these days, you know that the mere fact that I have had this imaginary debate with God speaks to just how crappy (in one man’s humble opinion) yet catchy that song actually is.

So, in the spirit of lighting a candle instead of just cursing the darkness (or crappiness, as it were), here is my tried and true method for getting a crappy song out of your head:

**You have to have your own go-to song that will also stick in your head but which is also decidedly not crappy – or at the very least far less crappy than the song you’re trying to replace.**

Here then, free of charge, is the Nathan McDade system for freeing your mind; my own go-to “get that crappy song out of my head a.s.a.p. by getting this song into my head” songs:

1. My first choice is always to plug in whatever praise song I have heard and enjoyed recently. The theory here is to replace the hedonistic babbling of four pop star doofuses with the beautiful, life-giving lyrics of a great hymn. Many different U2 songs often come to mind. But I also think that the older, the better – with the very best being songs taken directly from the words of the Bible itself. So, for example, during the past couple of weeks, while reflecting on an upcoming sermon in which my main point would be the words of Matthew 6:33, I frequently used the following classic chorus to battle the pop crappiness:

“Seek ye first the kingdom of God
And His righteousness
And all these things will be added unto you
Alelu, Aleluyah”

Try it – it works! Simply make a concerted effort to replace a crappy song and its foolish lyrics with a simple tune and ancient words of wisdom and watch your day take a turn for the better.

2. If a praise song doesn’t come to mind quickly enough, my #1 go-to replacement song – and don’t ask me how this came to be – is “The Gambler” by Kenny Rogers. It’s catchy, simple, short enough to memorize all of the words pretty easily, and even has some nice truth thrown in there. Plus, cowboys are cool. Many times in my life, Kenny has helped me to get a crappy pop song out of my head. I appreciate that. I guess you could say that in this simple little song I found an ace that I could keep.

3. Warning: This song must be treated as an absolute last resort. Guarantee: It never fails. If you’ve sung every hymn known to man and even “The Gambler” has worn out its welcome, you can always resort to … “The Song That Never Ends”. You know the one I’m talking about, right?

“This is the song that never ends
Yes it goes on and on my friends
Some people started singing it
Not knowing what it was
And we’ll continue singing it forever just because
This is the song that never ends
Yes it goes on and on my friends
Some people…”

It has yet to fail me. The problem quickly becomes that you don’t want this song in your head, either. But at least it is not counseling you to go out and get drunk and spend all of your money while making out with whomever happens to cross your path. It is the lesser of two evils.

So there you go - how to get a crappy song out of your head. If you want to practice, here’s how to get started: Just turn on your local pop radio station, wait 10 minutes or less, and listen to “I Gotta Feeling” by The Black Eyed Peas.

On second thought, don’t do that. You’ll have your chance to practice soon enough. The better move is to get a head start on that inevitable moment by going ahead and listening to some David Crowder Band right now…


  1. yikes! i love that song. but i hated it until it was lena and elliot's intro music at the reception that we all came into. that gave it a happy connotation to latch onto. plus how could you hate a song that has the lyrics "mazel tov" echoed by "l'chaim?"

  2. no way...i LOVE 'tonight's gonna be a good night' gets me so pumped and makes me want to dance. please don't banish black eyed peas to the LOST island :( (the food or the band)

  3. hahah - well, just know that by dissing a song you like i'm not dissing you folks personally. i will be in prayer for your musical tastes to improve.

  4. watching U2 live from L.A. on youtube and to my horror bono just thanked THE BLACK EYED PEAS for opening for them. that's like your italian grandma's homemade chicken parmesan thanking cold ramen noodles for being its appetizer. i don't even know what to say right now. head spinning - disappointed and confused... hehe.

  5. hahahahah...that's hilarious, partner :) Good old Bono...did he sing amazing grace on the youtube show???