For several months now I have been “dealing with forgiveness issues” – those are my words – with regard to a certain person in my life, a friend by whom I have felt deeply hurt and betrayed. I have been having a lot of trouble forgiving him/her. I imagine that these are familiar emotions to anyone reading this. In fact, if not, I would venture to say that either 1) you are perfect or 2) you are not in touch with your own emotions or 3) you need to get out more and interact with other human beings. But I digress…
Last week we were in England at our annual Globalscope Celebration. This is always a good time for me to reflect on how the coming year needs to be different than the year we’ve just finished, for our ministry but also for me personally. And I was really thinking a lot about my “forgiveness issues”. I desperately wanted to make some progress, and I was slowly but surely taking baby steps in the right direction. But I was yearning for more, to just be done with it. I had long ago arrived at a point where I realized that I truly love my friend who had hurt me, and I truly want the best for him/her, but I was still dealing with the sharp stabs of anger, defensiveness, and bitterness each time I thought of, heard news of, or interacted with this person. I confided in one of my friends at the Celebration and he compared it to how he felt after an ugly breakup with a girlfriend who had betrayed him – he no longer wanted to be with her, in fact he knew that that was a terrible idea, and he mostly wished her the best … yet he still just felt anger and bitterness toward her for a long time after the breakup. It just takes time sometimes, he said, and lots of prayer – and this is true. But I was tired of waiting, tired of my slow progress in the hard work of forgiveness. I wanted to be free of it, but I just wasn’t yet.
Then it was all changed by a word.
We were doing a team-building / dreaming for the future of our ministries exercise (led by the dreamer of dreamers, campus minister extraordinaire Rick Harper – www.gtccf.org; Pray and send money!). At one point we closed our eyes and thought of all of the needs out there. All of the things that God wants to change in our ministry context. Images of college students walking around the UDLA campus and surrounding streets filled my head. I saw young people who were lonely, without purpose, addicted, lost. After a few moments of this, our whole team just started writing words and drawing pictures of what we had seen on a big piece of paper. Later we would use this in another part of the exercise in which we would envision God changing hearts through us and our community.
Well, as we wrote what I had seen, I also took notice of what my teammates were writing. At one point my teammate Becky wrote the word “GRUDGES”. And in that moment, I took a huge step forward in the process of forgiveness. You see, Becky wrote that word because she (like all of us) had some forgiving to do in her life, but I also knew that she was thinking of me. Becky is a close friend of mine who knew a little about my own struggles to forgive someone in my life. And something changed when I saw that word right there in purple ink, all caps, bold and beautiful and convicting.
“GRUDGES”…
It struck me, that word. By using a different word to describe the exact same thing I’d been struggling with for months, my friend helped me turn a corner. You see, “grudges” is quite different from “forgiveness issues”. It may sound quite acceptable, even noble, to say that I am struggling to forgive someone. It sounds like something big and difficult to deal with, and it allows me to fall back on the passing of time as the healer of wounds. But to say I am holding a grudge, well that just sounds petty. It sounds utterly sinful. And it sounds like something that is within my power to change – here and now. I don’t have to wait for time to take care of a grudge. In fact to do so seems like laziness, avoidance, holding onto sin because, deep down, I kind of like it. But a grudge? That’s something I can do something about. I can just let go of it. Now.
So in that moment, I realized that I was in fact holding a grudge, and I needed to just stop. Just let it go. Just choose to love and forgive and move forward. And I did. I can honestly say that I took huge steps forward in the forgiveness process last week, and that I have greater joy and peace in my life today because of it. I have been better able to love my friend and to focus on other more productive things in my life – like the upcoming semester and my teammates and my prayer life and my pregnant wife and on and on goes the list (others-first, Jesus mentality) – rather than on myself and my pain (self-centered, victim mentality). I’m not saying that I’m 100% “over” the pain of past events that hurt me deeply, but I am saying that I’m a little closer to the ultimate goal (being more like Jesus every day) than I was last week, thanks to the great power of one little word to change my whole perspective on forgiveness.
Love keeps no record of wrongs.
Father, forgive us AS WE forgive those who hurt us, betray us, sin against us.
A little advice: Don’t hold grudges. It’s bad for the soul.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Monday, June 15, 2009
(OB)SERVE // (OB)SERVANT
We all know that Jesus Christ is the ultimate example of a servant. He revolutionized leadership forever by making the symbol of greatness not a crown but a towel. And of course his ultimate act of service was done on the cross. Jesus shows us how to SERVE. He is the greatest servant the world has ever seen.
But I also believe that Jesus was the most observant person in the history of the world. He not only teaches us how to serve, but also to OBSERVE. Read through the gospels and look for the phrase “Jesus saw…” It’s amazing what he noticed amidst surrounding chaos, how he connected with so many different people, how he cut to the heart of the matter with individuals.
One of the simple phrases that helps me in my Christian walk is this: “See a need, meet a need.”
Step One: Just keep your head on a swivel, working to see the world as God sees it. Discipline yourself to put on your “Jesus goggles” every morning and wear them all day. Don’t hide from the world’s ugliness – experience it and let it break your heart. See the needs.
Step Two: Those needs that you see around you? Do something about them. As Gandhi said, “Be the change you want to see in the world.” As Nike says, “Just Do It” (not “Just Recognize It” or “Just Have An Opinion About It”). And remember that the number one need at the root of all of the other needs is our own alienation from God. Meet the needs.
A lot of this walking with Jesus stuff really is “simple but not easy”. And so a phrase like “See a need, meet a need” really can center us and help us to remember what it’s all about. So, henceforth I will think of these words – (OB)SERVE and (OB)SERVANT – as an even more concise and visually pleasing way to remember to both see and meet the needs around me.
I invite you to do the same.
But I also believe that Jesus was the most observant person in the history of the world. He not only teaches us how to serve, but also to OBSERVE. Read through the gospels and look for the phrase “Jesus saw…” It’s amazing what he noticed amidst surrounding chaos, how he connected with so many different people, how he cut to the heart of the matter with individuals.
One of the simple phrases that helps me in my Christian walk is this: “See a need, meet a need.”
Step One: Just keep your head on a swivel, working to see the world as God sees it. Discipline yourself to put on your “Jesus goggles” every morning and wear them all day. Don’t hide from the world’s ugliness – experience it and let it break your heart. See the needs.
Step Two: Those needs that you see around you? Do something about them. As Gandhi said, “Be the change you want to see in the world.” As Nike says, “Just Do It” (not “Just Recognize It” or “Just Have An Opinion About It”). And remember that the number one need at the root of all of the other needs is our own alienation from God. Meet the needs.
A lot of this walking with Jesus stuff really is “simple but not easy”. And so a phrase like “See a need, meet a need” really can center us and help us to remember what it’s all about. So, henceforth I will think of these words – (OB)SERVE and (OB)SERVANT – as an even more concise and visually pleasing way to remember to both see and meet the needs around me.
I invite you to do the same.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
The "Ex-Churches"
Wed. June 3, 2009
“Post-Christian Europe”. It’s a term that I’ve read and heard many times during the last several years, be it in books or articles or discussions in the classrooms and hallways of seminary. It’s a concept that I feel like I have understood fairly well – in short that many European nations and communities, once bastions of faith in Christ, are basically now “over” Christianity. In Europe, a tipping point has been reached at which the frustration and incongruence of things like so-called faith without action, punch-clock religion, nominal/cultural Christianity, and compulsory state church taxes clearly outweighed the benefits in the eyes of the majority. And not only that, but they have finally reached a point where they will admit as much, sometimes by word (“I’m an atheist”) and even more often by deed (simply never setting foot in a church building). The individuals involved may in fact still reserve a special place in their lives for “spirituality” or even for Jesus, but just about all of them have decided that the Church has no place in their lives. The Body of Christ has largely become a non-factor in much of the Western World, or at the very least its influence has been drastically diminished. Certainly it’s a deeper and more complex issue that I will do justice to here, but to say the least it has been an interesting topic of discussion, and – get this – I have even prayed about it! Many times, actually. You see, I have very close friends who face down this monster known as “Post-Christian Europe” on a daily basis as they work as campus ministers in Spain, England, and Germany, and I can tell from their stories that it’s no joke. They are up against quite an obstacle when trying to convey the truth, love, importance, relevance, and reality of Christ to a group of intelligent young people who’ve basically grown up immersed in post-Christian cultures and see no reason for Jesus nor his Church to take on a significant role in their lives.
But, although this is a monumental challenge, and I think of my friends as heroes for persevering and making a difference every day, to be quite honest, the issue never really hit home with me until these last two days. For me, it took seeing a simple, poignant image for me to really understand the magnitude of what we are talking about when we opine about “Post-Christian Europe”. Or rather, it took me seeing three versions of the same image: a traditional church building vacated by the community of faith and now being used for other purposes.
Erin and I have been traveling in Scotland now for two days – yes, one great perk of the job of a CMF missionary is that we often have great opportunities to experience places we may otherwise never get to visit. We’ve been doing the tourism thing – seeing the castles and battlefields and cathedrals, etc. Now usually when we visit a new place and go see the cathedral, I must admit that I’m disappointed. Though beautiful and ornate, many of these grand old churches mostly bum me out because it is abundantly clear that not much ministry is going on in that place. God’s house has been reduced to a tourist attraction, an architectural and historical conversation piece. There are exceptions, and they thrill me – current, relevant ministry going on in a grand old cathedral is a very moving marriage of the old and new that make the Christian faith so timeless – but they tend to be the exceptions that prove the rule. But let me tell you this: The bummed-out feeling that I get when I visit churches who aren’t doing much is nothing compared to the feeling I go when I recently ran across three church buildings that were not even housing churches anymore!
Three times during the past two days here in Scotland, I have seen beautiful old church buildings converted for other uses. I’m going to refer to them as “ex-churches” for lack of a better term. Let me tell you about them.
The first was an enormous gothic building, right on the Royal Mile in Edinburgh. Constructed between 1842 and 1845, this prominent church building was originally built to house both a parish church and the offices of the Church of Scotland, but in 1979 (the year of my birth), the congregation of the Highland Tollbooth St. John’s Church shut the doors and merged with another congregation. The building now houses “The Hub”, which is multi-purpose facility whose primary functions are ticket office, cultural center, concert hall, and café. Nowadays, if you want to know anything about the Edinburgh International Festival, or any of the other Edinburgh festivals or other such cultural events, the Hub is the place to inquire. You can also have a snack or coffee with friends, or catch a concert. All good stuff. But Jesus is conspicuously absent.
The second ex-church that I saw was somewhere – I don’t recall exactly where – on the A-85 during our drive from St. Andrews over to Oban. As we drove through yet another lovely little Scottish town, off to the side I saw yet another lovely little church building … except it had a huge sign hung on the side of it that said “Antiques”. A place to go and get treasures from the past, very old things whose usefulness and beauty has actually been enhanced as they have aged. Perhaps you could even find an old Bible or an old pulpit – but you’d have to purchase them and take them out of that particular building in order to put them to use. It’s an antique store now.
My third encounter with an ex-church was in the small coastal city of Oban. After getting a room at a local hostel, Erin and I headed for the center of town to figure out our plans for the next morning’s tour of the isles of Mull and Iona. En route to book passage to one of the most important places in Christian history (Iona), we walked past a little church building … that has been converted into the local tourist information office. There was the “i” symbol, sought by tourists in need of information and guidance in an unfamiliar place. Nowhere to be found, however, was the symbol of the cross.
At each of these encounters with ex-churches, and as I’ve reflected on them since, I have experienced mixed feelings. On the one hand, I’m glad these buildings are in use! And being used for mostly good things. But the dominant feeling I have had is one of deep sadness. These places made me sadder than the other cathedrals that frustrate me with their seeming lack of relevance because at least those places still house churches of some kind. At least there is worship and ministry going on there, no matter how feeble I judge it or how little I see of it. But the ex-churches, these places make me much sadder, because these guys have given up. The Christian communities who once called these buildings their homes are beaten. At some point, they threw in the towel, sold the building, and moved on, and the group that came in to take their place was not another upstart church community happy to have the space, but instead a secular organization with different plans and purposes entirely. Whatever Xians were there before are now out on the street, maybe meeting in another place, maybe not. It just makes me sad.
Maybe it’s a good thing. Rather than limping along, mostly ineffective and pitiful, these churches have hit rock bottom. From there the only way to go is up – or away. Maybe the post-Christian thing in Europe will just become fertile soil for a real spiritual revolution. We all know that the Church is at its strongest, its purest, when it is underground and persecuted. Maybe we are approaching a time in Europe more reminiscent of first century Palestine – tight, small communities totally committed to the Gospel – than Constantine’s empire, where politics and earthly power diluted the Message. That would be nice.
And here’s the thing – I have nothing against “The Hub” or the antique store or the tourist information office. I’m a big fan of cultural festivals, antique furniture and nick-nacks, and maps and pamphlets and people who help me to find my way around when I’m a stranger and a newcomer. These are all good things, but it makes me sad to see them in place of the Best Thing – local incarnations of the Body of Christ in this world.
Tomorrow I will travel to Iona, St. Columba’s point of departure for launching Christianity first to Mull, then to Scotland, then to all of Britain and all of Europe. I will reflect on this topic, among others. I will think about the ex-churches. I will think about the monks martyred there by Vikings. I will walk around the abbey and feel the history of our faith. And I will definitely offer up a prayer for “Post-Christian Europe” and for the many incarnations of the Body of Christ on that continent.
I pray for local church communities new and old – some maybe not returning to meet in those same buildings, or maybe so – to return to being all that God desires for them to be. May they be hubs in their towns, the most relevant and useful of community centers, not only informing the people of the cultural goings-on but also helping them to interpret them in light of the truth of Jesus. May they deal in antiques in the most beautiful of ways, taking what is old, mining its beauty, and teaching its relevance in the here and now. And may they be sources not just of city maps but help in mapping out our lives, not just of useful information but also of life-giving, eternal wisdom. May they be places for all of us, who are just passing through anyway, to find what we need to help get us to where our loving Father ultimately desires for us to go – eternity spent with Him.
“Post-Christian Europe”. It’s a term that I’ve read and heard many times during the last several years, be it in books or articles or discussions in the classrooms and hallways of seminary. It’s a concept that I feel like I have understood fairly well – in short that many European nations and communities, once bastions of faith in Christ, are basically now “over” Christianity. In Europe, a tipping point has been reached at which the frustration and incongruence of things like so-called faith without action, punch-clock religion, nominal/cultural Christianity, and compulsory state church taxes clearly outweighed the benefits in the eyes of the majority. And not only that, but they have finally reached a point where they will admit as much, sometimes by word (“I’m an atheist”) and even more often by deed (simply never setting foot in a church building). The individuals involved may in fact still reserve a special place in their lives for “spirituality” or even for Jesus, but just about all of them have decided that the Church has no place in their lives. The Body of Christ has largely become a non-factor in much of the Western World, or at the very least its influence has been drastically diminished. Certainly it’s a deeper and more complex issue that I will do justice to here, but to say the least it has been an interesting topic of discussion, and – get this – I have even prayed about it! Many times, actually. You see, I have very close friends who face down this monster known as “Post-Christian Europe” on a daily basis as they work as campus ministers in Spain, England, and Germany, and I can tell from their stories that it’s no joke. They are up against quite an obstacle when trying to convey the truth, love, importance, relevance, and reality of Christ to a group of intelligent young people who’ve basically grown up immersed in post-Christian cultures and see no reason for Jesus nor his Church to take on a significant role in their lives.
But, although this is a monumental challenge, and I think of my friends as heroes for persevering and making a difference every day, to be quite honest, the issue never really hit home with me until these last two days. For me, it took seeing a simple, poignant image for me to really understand the magnitude of what we are talking about when we opine about “Post-Christian Europe”. Or rather, it took me seeing three versions of the same image: a traditional church building vacated by the community of faith and now being used for other purposes.
Erin and I have been traveling in Scotland now for two days – yes, one great perk of the job of a CMF missionary is that we often have great opportunities to experience places we may otherwise never get to visit. We’ve been doing the tourism thing – seeing the castles and battlefields and cathedrals, etc. Now usually when we visit a new place and go see the cathedral, I must admit that I’m disappointed. Though beautiful and ornate, many of these grand old churches mostly bum me out because it is abundantly clear that not much ministry is going on in that place. God’s house has been reduced to a tourist attraction, an architectural and historical conversation piece. There are exceptions, and they thrill me – current, relevant ministry going on in a grand old cathedral is a very moving marriage of the old and new that make the Christian faith so timeless – but they tend to be the exceptions that prove the rule. But let me tell you this: The bummed-out feeling that I get when I visit churches who aren’t doing much is nothing compared to the feeling I go when I recently ran across three church buildings that were not even housing churches anymore!
Three times during the past two days here in Scotland, I have seen beautiful old church buildings converted for other uses. I’m going to refer to them as “ex-churches” for lack of a better term. Let me tell you about them.
The first was an enormous gothic building, right on the Royal Mile in Edinburgh. Constructed between 1842 and 1845, this prominent church building was originally built to house both a parish church and the offices of the Church of Scotland, but in 1979 (the year of my birth), the congregation of the Highland Tollbooth St. John’s Church shut the doors and merged with another congregation. The building now houses “The Hub”, which is multi-purpose facility whose primary functions are ticket office, cultural center, concert hall, and café. Nowadays, if you want to know anything about the Edinburgh International Festival, or any of the other Edinburgh festivals or other such cultural events, the Hub is the place to inquire. You can also have a snack or coffee with friends, or catch a concert. All good stuff. But Jesus is conspicuously absent.
The second ex-church that I saw was somewhere – I don’t recall exactly where – on the A-85 during our drive from St. Andrews over to Oban. As we drove through yet another lovely little Scottish town, off to the side I saw yet another lovely little church building … except it had a huge sign hung on the side of it that said “Antiques”. A place to go and get treasures from the past, very old things whose usefulness and beauty has actually been enhanced as they have aged. Perhaps you could even find an old Bible or an old pulpit – but you’d have to purchase them and take them out of that particular building in order to put them to use. It’s an antique store now.
My third encounter with an ex-church was in the small coastal city of Oban. After getting a room at a local hostel, Erin and I headed for the center of town to figure out our plans for the next morning’s tour of the isles of Mull and Iona. En route to book passage to one of the most important places in Christian history (Iona), we walked past a little church building … that has been converted into the local tourist information office. There was the “i” symbol, sought by tourists in need of information and guidance in an unfamiliar place. Nowhere to be found, however, was the symbol of the cross.
At each of these encounters with ex-churches, and as I’ve reflected on them since, I have experienced mixed feelings. On the one hand, I’m glad these buildings are in use! And being used for mostly good things. But the dominant feeling I have had is one of deep sadness. These places made me sadder than the other cathedrals that frustrate me with their seeming lack of relevance because at least those places still house churches of some kind. At least there is worship and ministry going on there, no matter how feeble I judge it or how little I see of it. But the ex-churches, these places make me much sadder, because these guys have given up. The Christian communities who once called these buildings their homes are beaten. At some point, they threw in the towel, sold the building, and moved on, and the group that came in to take their place was not another upstart church community happy to have the space, but instead a secular organization with different plans and purposes entirely. Whatever Xians were there before are now out on the street, maybe meeting in another place, maybe not. It just makes me sad.
Maybe it’s a good thing. Rather than limping along, mostly ineffective and pitiful, these churches have hit rock bottom. From there the only way to go is up – or away. Maybe the post-Christian thing in Europe will just become fertile soil for a real spiritual revolution. We all know that the Church is at its strongest, its purest, when it is underground and persecuted. Maybe we are approaching a time in Europe more reminiscent of first century Palestine – tight, small communities totally committed to the Gospel – than Constantine’s empire, where politics and earthly power diluted the Message. That would be nice.
And here’s the thing – I have nothing against “The Hub” or the antique store or the tourist information office. I’m a big fan of cultural festivals, antique furniture and nick-nacks, and maps and pamphlets and people who help me to find my way around when I’m a stranger and a newcomer. These are all good things, but it makes me sad to see them in place of the Best Thing – local incarnations of the Body of Christ in this world.
Tomorrow I will travel to Iona, St. Columba’s point of departure for launching Christianity first to Mull, then to Scotland, then to all of Britain and all of Europe. I will reflect on this topic, among others. I will think about the ex-churches. I will think about the monks martyred there by Vikings. I will walk around the abbey and feel the history of our faith. And I will definitely offer up a prayer for “Post-Christian Europe” and for the many incarnations of the Body of Christ on that continent.
I pray for local church communities new and old – some maybe not returning to meet in those same buildings, or maybe so – to return to being all that God desires for them to be. May they be hubs in their towns, the most relevant and useful of community centers, not only informing the people of the cultural goings-on but also helping them to interpret them in light of the truth of Jesus. May they deal in antiques in the most beautiful of ways, taking what is old, mining its beauty, and teaching its relevance in the here and now. And may they be sources not just of city maps but help in mapping out our lives, not just of useful information but also of life-giving, eternal wisdom. May they be places for all of us, who are just passing through anyway, to find what we need to help get us to where our loving Father ultimately desires for us to go – eternity spent with Him.
There's No "U" In Cortney.
Had a waitress the other day named “Cortney”. Courtney with no “u”. I said, “So it’s like the opposite of ‘There’s no “I” in team’, right? You’re really self-centered”. She didn’t get it. She wasn’t mad or offended or anything like that, I think it just went right over her head. Which she probably spells “Hed”.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
The More Things Change...
[Here is something I wrote for our next team newsletter. KK asked me to write something about awaiting our first child, being back from furlough, etc...]
The more things change, the more they stay the same. It really is true. Erin and I have now been living and working here in Puebla for nearly five years. We now live in a little house in a little neighborhood with families and kids – instead of upstairs from the OXXO a block from the campus house with neighbors who max out their stereo volume and drunk guys outside. We now drive around in our own car more than we take buses and taxis or even the ministry cars. Favorite restaurants and cafés have closed down, but others have opened to take their place. Teammates have come, and teammates have gone – we are the only two who remain of the original six. Students we knew as freshmen have graduated and gone on to jobs or Master’s degrees in other places. We’ve unplugged, gone on a furlough to the USA, come back, and plugged back in. UDLA (the university we target) has changed administrations, shut down a dorm building, and built another entrance, among many other changes. Our community has grown to include folks from several other universities who are deeply involved, along with several young professionals who have caused us to rethink our “target audience” a little bit. Our number of student leaders and event attendance have gone up a lot, then down a little, then leveled out while the quality of our ministry has continued to improve. Our budget has gone way up while the strength of the peso has gone way down. The dreaded gate has been built at the end of the street, but the students just keep coming. We’ve sent three girls to Africa and are sending one to Thailand. We’ve taken first mission trip as a community. We’ve baptized seven people. We’ve laughed, cried, cursed, sang, preached, and worked ourselves to the point of exhaustion. We’ve also relaxed some, too, and enjoyed the perks of our line of work, such as being able to travel and visit with friends and coworkers around the world. Friends and family have come to visit, then gotten on busses and planes and headed back to their lives and homes. And now, here we are, awaiting the biggest adjustment yet – the little girl who will come into our lives in late August or early September, capture our hearts, add another member to our little family, and change everything. Do we know what we are doing? Nope. Do we know what to expect? Barely. Are we thankful for our great teammates and students and friends and family here and far away who will support us along the way? You bet. Do we trust God to be with us every step of the way as we try to figure it all out? Of course! As we helplessly and prayerfully await this momentous occasion, we are comforted by this thought: The more things change, the more they stay the same. Come September, we’ll have a baby, and that will mean that much of our life will be uncertain and up in the air. But another major part of our lives will be comfortably familiar, because there will still be a bunch of college students who will need love, truth, comfort, purpose, forgiveness, friendship, and refuge. There will still be a staff that needs to be challenged, led, and empowered. There will still be supporters who need to be informed and appreciated. And there will still be one God to be glorified through it all.
The more things change, the more they stay the same. It really is true. Erin and I have now been living and working here in Puebla for nearly five years. We now live in a little house in a little neighborhood with families and kids – instead of upstairs from the OXXO a block from the campus house with neighbors who max out their stereo volume and drunk guys outside. We now drive around in our own car more than we take buses and taxis or even the ministry cars. Favorite restaurants and cafés have closed down, but others have opened to take their place. Teammates have come, and teammates have gone – we are the only two who remain of the original six. Students we knew as freshmen have graduated and gone on to jobs or Master’s degrees in other places. We’ve unplugged, gone on a furlough to the USA, come back, and plugged back in. UDLA (the university we target) has changed administrations, shut down a dorm building, and built another entrance, among many other changes. Our community has grown to include folks from several other universities who are deeply involved, along with several young professionals who have caused us to rethink our “target audience” a little bit. Our number of student leaders and event attendance have gone up a lot, then down a little, then leveled out while the quality of our ministry has continued to improve. Our budget has gone way up while the strength of the peso has gone way down. The dreaded gate has been built at the end of the street, but the students just keep coming. We’ve sent three girls to Africa and are sending one to Thailand. We’ve taken first mission trip as a community. We’ve baptized seven people. We’ve laughed, cried, cursed, sang, preached, and worked ourselves to the point of exhaustion. We’ve also relaxed some, too, and enjoyed the perks of our line of work, such as being able to travel and visit with friends and coworkers around the world. Friends and family have come to visit, then gotten on busses and planes and headed back to their lives and homes. And now, here we are, awaiting the biggest adjustment yet – the little girl who will come into our lives in late August or early September, capture our hearts, add another member to our little family, and change everything. Do we know what we are doing? Nope. Do we know what to expect? Barely. Are we thankful for our great teammates and students and friends and family here and far away who will support us along the way? You bet. Do we trust God to be with us every step of the way as we try to figure it all out? Of course! As we helplessly and prayerfully await this momentous occasion, we are comforted by this thought: The more things change, the more they stay the same. Come September, we’ll have a baby, and that will mean that much of our life will be uncertain and up in the air. But another major part of our lives will be comfortably familiar, because there will still be a bunch of college students who will need love, truth, comfort, purpose, forgiveness, friendship, and refuge. There will still be a staff that needs to be challenged, led, and empowered. There will still be supporters who need to be informed and appreciated. And there will still be one God to be glorified through it all.
Friday, March 20, 2009
God's Faithfulness - Right on Time
Sometimes working in ministry feels a little like banging your head against a wall, day after day after day. Sometimes – all too often, actually – it feels like all of our efforts are in vain, like not a single one of these students whom we love and serve and pray for and cry over and can’t get out of our minds, day or night, is ever going to take a single step of faith. Not even a small one. Sometimes, this is a hard job. I’m not whining, I’m just saying. But as my pastor says, quoting his recovering addict friends, we have to “stick around for the miracle”. Because, you see, sometimes you have a day like today, a week like this one. Sometimes God comes through like Michael Jordan in the clutch. Sometimes God knocks us to our knees with the beauty of His faithfulness and the perfection of His timing. I feel like that’s where I am today. As I type, it is early Friday morning. Let me tell you some stories of God’s faithfulness from the past few days:
Exhibit A: It’s Tuesday morning, I’m doing my weekly Bible study with our two interns. I think they are learning something. I hope so. I do what I can. We come to our time of prayer. One of the main things we’re praying for is this weekend’s annual beach retreat. We have two students who are strongly considering baptism, and I pray for them by name. But then, I think led by the Holy Spirit, I add something like this: “And Lord, we not only pray for these two students to decide once and for all to be baptized and proclaim to the world their faith in you, but we also pray to be surprised as other people we’re not even thinking about right now also step forward to take this important step of faith…” We finish our Bible study. A former student and former intern has been waiting patiently for me downstairs. She wants to talk. I wonder what’s coming. We sit down and she begins by saying “Today I’m not here to talk about myself. Actually, I have some great news for you! [A girl that we will call ‘Peanut’] wants to be baptized on the retreat this weekend!” I immediately break into a huge smile. You see, Peanut has been coming around our campus ministry for probably three years. Peanut always asks great questions. She’ll be a regular for a while, then disappear for long stretches. Usually, the disappearances mean that she’s fallen back into some bad habits and feels unworthy to come before God and be a part of El Pozo. But eventually, she comes back around, and needs to talk, to confess, to hear words of love. Over and over, when given the chance, we tell her that God’s love is unconditional. At the same time, we challenge her to step up and ditch the bad habits. You know the message: God loves her exactly like she is, but He loves her too much to let her stay that way. It’s the truest thing in the world. So last week Peanut had a great conversation with Erin. Erin was fed up. With tons of love and grace, based in a friendship that has now been build during three years or so, my beautiful wife said, “You know I love you, Peanut, which is why I have to tell you – every few months or so, you come to me and we have the same conversation. It’s the same old struggle. You know what you need to do.” Back to Tuesday morning: I give Ms. Former Intern some stuff for Peanut to read about baptism. Peanut comes by later and talks with MFE and Erin. MFE has been a superstar in the whole process – making triple sure that Peanut was making this decision for herself and not hooking up with Jesus on the rebound. Erin confirms that Peanut knows what’s she’s doing. She comes upstairs and shares her news with our staff. We pray, cry a little, hug a lot. In this moment it all seems worth it. I’m ready to bang my head against the wall for a few more months.
Exhibit B: Wednesday morning. I have breakfast with a staff member who’s been having a hard time. Tensions have been growing. Relational damage is beginning to be done. I’m not looking forward to the conversation. The time has come for some honest words. This could go either way – either he/she owns up to the issues or he/she gets his/her butt kicked by me (in the most loving way, of course). It’s time to poop or get off the pot with this ongoing situation. I ask a couple of people to really pray hard between 9 and 10 A.M. We’re drinking OJ, the conversation begins, and … my friend comes through like a champion. He/she says all of the right things, and it’s so genuine. He/she has already taken major steps to address the problem. He/she admits it, names it, owns it, and commits to move forward, with the help of God and his/her teammates. A major corner is turned, just in time. An individual and a team grows and matures. My friend takes a giant step toward wholeness and healing as a person and effectiveness as a husband/wife, friend, teammate, minister. I am so proud of this guy/gal in this moment. We finish breakfast and go share the good news with our team, who immediately pray prayers of joy and make promises to go through this together. My friend struggles to find the right words, but that’s okay. I remember when Erin was struggling and we rallied around her. I remember when I was the one walking through the valley of the shadow of death. I can still feel Satan’s darts and arrows – but more than that my memory clings to the grace of teammates and friends and family a living Savior who loved me through it all, loved me right back into the light. This is how a team works. This is why we make the investment in each other. This is why I accept God’s calling to be a leader, even when it’s lonely and unfair. This is why it’s all worth it. I was starting to forget.
Exhibit C: Thursday morning. Checking my email. A dear old friend who we’ll call “Mr. Elf” pops online and congratulates us on the pregnancy, then shares the great news that he and his wife (another dear old friend) are due one month after us. We talk about how the new 3-D ultrasounds make it basically impossible to argue that that’s not a little human being in there, from very early on. We chat about my golf tournament fundraiser. [SHAMELESS PLUG in 3, 2, 1… – FRIDAY MAY 29th – ORCHARD HILLS GOLF CLUB – NEWNAN, GA – Come support El Pozo and have a blast while doing so! And/or spread the word to friends who might want to play, sponsor, donate, volunteer, etc. Talk to me for more info!] We’re chatting casually about golf when out of the blue, this conversation transpires on my computer screen:
-------
* Mr. Elf: you think you could make the time to Baptize me the next time you are in town? I could do it at Church, but you and [other dear old friend] were so important to me even though I've never told you guys.
* Me: YES! it would be one of the biggest honors of my life, man.
* Mr. Elf: I can't wait!!
* Me: me neither. wow man you just made my day, week, month. congratulations. awesome decision. i have seen God at work in and through you for a long time - i'm glad you're ready to recognize and proclaim it, my friend.
* Mr. Elf: Along with my beautiful wife, you and [other dear old friend] were such great role models.
* Me: man i have learned so much and changed a lot, but it's good to know that God uses us even in our youthful and immature days. and you certainly did marry well, that's for sure. wow man i'm so excited.
-------
It goes on, but that’s the best part. I have tears in my eyes. I tell Erin – immediate tears as well. I just put my head in my hands and don’t know what to do. I guess you could say I’m basking in God’s faithfulness. And his grace – I mean many of you knew me in middle and high school… It blows me away that God was using me – sinful, bonehead me – even then to plant seeds of faith in the lives of others. I’m certainly overwhelmed by the perfect timing, the rapid answer to a simple prayer, the joy that comes with seeing a treasured friend acknowledge Christ as his Lord and Savior. Yeah, ministry is worth it. Bring it on. Now I’m remembering why I was ordained back in November – why I have committed my whole life and career to being a pastor, mentor, friend, preacher, servant, pray-er in the name of Jesus.
Exhibit D: Earlier I mentioned two students who are at the point of baptism. One of them wants to do some more studying first – and probably wait until his girlfriend can be here for the baptism in May. And hey, that’s cool. We’re going to meet several times a week and dig deeply into Scripture in the meantime. Nothing wrong with that. I love it, actually. We started this intense study this morning, and it totally fills my tank. I’m thinking, what hard days? What challenges? This is what it’s all about. So then the other student who’s thinking about baptism – we’ll call her “Kelly” – steps up bigtime. She’s working hard on her thesis project (Note: “I have to work on my thesis” currently ranks #1, by far, on the El Pozo list of reasons/excuses for not going on the beach retreat.), and we the staff have been offering to cook her meals, clean her house – whatever it takes to free up some time for her. But then the due date gets moved up a week to this coming Monday. Oh crap, no way she’ll go on the retreat now, right? Wrong. She has made a decision, and she wants to be immersed in water and proclaim her faith to the world. She stays up until five A.M. working. She still finds time to come to our leadership meeting. She pays her money and says she’s coming on the retreat. I cry tears of joy as I think about it because THIS is what we’re working for, praying for, sometimes suffering for. A young person growing closer to God and backing up her words with actions. With bold steps of faith. At this point, I’m pushing “all-in”, as they say in poker. What else can I do? I’m renewing, with everything in me, my commitment to God, to Jesus, to the pursuit of truth, to the ministry of the Good News. Yeah, ministry is hard. But it’s worth it. As we say in Mexico, “Vale la pena”. It’s worth the pain/sorrow/heartache/distress/misery/embarrassment/forfeit/penalty/labor/trouble. Yeah, it really is. Yeah, bring it on.
Exhibit A: It’s Tuesday morning, I’m doing my weekly Bible study with our two interns. I think they are learning something. I hope so. I do what I can. We come to our time of prayer. One of the main things we’re praying for is this weekend’s annual beach retreat. We have two students who are strongly considering baptism, and I pray for them by name. But then, I think led by the Holy Spirit, I add something like this: “And Lord, we not only pray for these two students to decide once and for all to be baptized and proclaim to the world their faith in you, but we also pray to be surprised as other people we’re not even thinking about right now also step forward to take this important step of faith…” We finish our Bible study. A former student and former intern has been waiting patiently for me downstairs. She wants to talk. I wonder what’s coming. We sit down and she begins by saying “Today I’m not here to talk about myself. Actually, I have some great news for you! [A girl that we will call ‘Peanut’] wants to be baptized on the retreat this weekend!” I immediately break into a huge smile. You see, Peanut has been coming around our campus ministry for probably three years. Peanut always asks great questions. She’ll be a regular for a while, then disappear for long stretches. Usually, the disappearances mean that she’s fallen back into some bad habits and feels unworthy to come before God and be a part of El Pozo. But eventually, she comes back around, and needs to talk, to confess, to hear words of love. Over and over, when given the chance, we tell her that God’s love is unconditional. At the same time, we challenge her to step up and ditch the bad habits. You know the message: God loves her exactly like she is, but He loves her too much to let her stay that way. It’s the truest thing in the world. So last week Peanut had a great conversation with Erin. Erin was fed up. With tons of love and grace, based in a friendship that has now been build during three years or so, my beautiful wife said, “You know I love you, Peanut, which is why I have to tell you – every few months or so, you come to me and we have the same conversation. It’s the same old struggle. You know what you need to do.” Back to Tuesday morning: I give Ms. Former Intern some stuff for Peanut to read about baptism. Peanut comes by later and talks with MFE and Erin. MFE has been a superstar in the whole process – making triple sure that Peanut was making this decision for herself and not hooking up with Jesus on the rebound. Erin confirms that Peanut knows what’s she’s doing. She comes upstairs and shares her news with our staff. We pray, cry a little, hug a lot. In this moment it all seems worth it. I’m ready to bang my head against the wall for a few more months.
Exhibit B: Wednesday morning. I have breakfast with a staff member who’s been having a hard time. Tensions have been growing. Relational damage is beginning to be done. I’m not looking forward to the conversation. The time has come for some honest words. This could go either way – either he/she owns up to the issues or he/she gets his/her butt kicked by me (in the most loving way, of course). It’s time to poop or get off the pot with this ongoing situation. I ask a couple of people to really pray hard between 9 and 10 A.M. We’re drinking OJ, the conversation begins, and … my friend comes through like a champion. He/she says all of the right things, and it’s so genuine. He/she has already taken major steps to address the problem. He/she admits it, names it, owns it, and commits to move forward, with the help of God and his/her teammates. A major corner is turned, just in time. An individual and a team grows and matures. My friend takes a giant step toward wholeness and healing as a person and effectiveness as a husband/wife, friend, teammate, minister. I am so proud of this guy/gal in this moment. We finish breakfast and go share the good news with our team, who immediately pray prayers of joy and make promises to go through this together. My friend struggles to find the right words, but that’s okay. I remember when Erin was struggling and we rallied around her. I remember when I was the one walking through the valley of the shadow of death. I can still feel Satan’s darts and arrows – but more than that my memory clings to the grace of teammates and friends and family a living Savior who loved me through it all, loved me right back into the light. This is how a team works. This is why we make the investment in each other. This is why I accept God’s calling to be a leader, even when it’s lonely and unfair. This is why it’s all worth it. I was starting to forget.
Exhibit C: Thursday morning. Checking my email. A dear old friend who we’ll call “Mr. Elf” pops online and congratulates us on the pregnancy, then shares the great news that he and his wife (another dear old friend) are due one month after us. We talk about how the new 3-D ultrasounds make it basically impossible to argue that that’s not a little human being in there, from very early on. We chat about my golf tournament fundraiser. [SHAMELESS PLUG in 3, 2, 1… – FRIDAY MAY 29th – ORCHARD HILLS GOLF CLUB – NEWNAN, GA – Come support El Pozo and have a blast while doing so! And/or spread the word to friends who might want to play, sponsor, donate, volunteer, etc. Talk to me for more info!] We’re chatting casually about golf when out of the blue, this conversation transpires on my computer screen:
-------
* Mr. Elf: you think you could make the time to Baptize me the next time you are in town? I could do it at Church, but you and [other dear old friend] were so important to me even though I've never told you guys.
* Me: YES! it would be one of the biggest honors of my life, man.
* Mr. Elf: I can't wait!!
* Me: me neither. wow man you just made my day, week, month. congratulations. awesome decision. i have seen God at work in and through you for a long time - i'm glad you're ready to recognize and proclaim it, my friend.
* Mr. Elf: Along with my beautiful wife, you and [other dear old friend] were such great role models.
* Me: man i have learned so much and changed a lot, but it's good to know that God uses us even in our youthful and immature days. and you certainly did marry well, that's for sure. wow man i'm so excited.
-------
It goes on, but that’s the best part. I have tears in my eyes. I tell Erin – immediate tears as well. I just put my head in my hands and don’t know what to do. I guess you could say I’m basking in God’s faithfulness. And his grace – I mean many of you knew me in middle and high school… It blows me away that God was using me – sinful, bonehead me – even then to plant seeds of faith in the lives of others. I’m certainly overwhelmed by the perfect timing, the rapid answer to a simple prayer, the joy that comes with seeing a treasured friend acknowledge Christ as his Lord and Savior. Yeah, ministry is worth it. Bring it on. Now I’m remembering why I was ordained back in November – why I have committed my whole life and career to being a pastor, mentor, friend, preacher, servant, pray-er in the name of Jesus.
Exhibit D: Earlier I mentioned two students who are at the point of baptism. One of them wants to do some more studying first – and probably wait until his girlfriend can be here for the baptism in May. And hey, that’s cool. We’re going to meet several times a week and dig deeply into Scripture in the meantime. Nothing wrong with that. I love it, actually. We started this intense study this morning, and it totally fills my tank. I’m thinking, what hard days? What challenges? This is what it’s all about. So then the other student who’s thinking about baptism – we’ll call her “Kelly” – steps up bigtime. She’s working hard on her thesis project (Note: “I have to work on my thesis” currently ranks #1, by far, on the El Pozo list of reasons/excuses for not going on the beach retreat.), and we the staff have been offering to cook her meals, clean her house – whatever it takes to free up some time for her. But then the due date gets moved up a week to this coming Monday. Oh crap, no way she’ll go on the retreat now, right? Wrong. She has made a decision, and she wants to be immersed in water and proclaim her faith to the world. She stays up until five A.M. working. She still finds time to come to our leadership meeting. She pays her money and says she’s coming on the retreat. I cry tears of joy as I think about it because THIS is what we’re working for, praying for, sometimes suffering for. A young person growing closer to God and backing up her words with actions. With bold steps of faith. At this point, I’m pushing “all-in”, as they say in poker. What else can I do? I’m renewing, with everything in me, my commitment to God, to Jesus, to the pursuit of truth, to the ministry of the Good News. Yeah, ministry is hard. But it’s worth it. As we say in Mexico, “Vale la pena”. It’s worth the pain/sorrow/heartache/distress/misery/embarrassment/forfeit/penalty/labor/trouble. Yeah, it really is. Yeah, bring it on.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Exotic Locale
I recently found myself in an exciting, exotic locale. Let me describe it for you. It’s not far from the equator, but very high in elevation, so the climate is wonderful. Sunny and warm, except for in the rainy season. The people in this place have darker skin than mine, and there are a lot of them! They are always moving – walking, riding bicycles, and piling into trucks, vans, taxis, and buses to get from point A to point B. There is a small minority who drive around conspicuously in their Mercedes or big SUVs, but these folks really stand out. Many people – not just these rich folks – live in the houses hidden behind walls with sharp metal or broken glass on the top and large iron gates, sometimes with live guards, separating them from the outside world. Unfortunately, this kind of security is somewhat of a necessity. The huge gap between rich and poor is a real problem here, and it doesn’t take a long search to run across someone suffering under the weight of serious poverty. Another major problem is the deep-seated political corruption, and the fact that it’s difficult to really trust the police. One is not sure if they are there to serve and protect, or if they will instead rob and harass. In this place, there is a mix of many tribal, national, and cultural heritages, and therefore it’s easy to find some very good food! The beautiful climate means that it’s always easy to find some yummy fresh fruit – passion fruit, mango, and pineapple abound - and there are all kinds of beautiful, brightly colored flowers all around. Bougainvillea is one that particularly flourishes here. The traffic is crazy, and it’s an amazing thing to ride with a taxi driver who confidently bobs and weaves with a terrifying yet beautiful mix of grace and aggression…
Oh, and by the way, I also recently left Puebla, Mexico and visited Nairobi, Kenya, which was also a great place – but I’ll have to write about that later…
Oh, and by the way, I also recently left Puebla, Mexico and visited Nairobi, Kenya, which was also a great place – but I’ll have to write about that later…
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